the heart of meditation

the word 'meditation' might bring to mind someone sitting cross-legged on the floor with their eyes closed, emptying their mind and chanting words like 'ommmm.' Christians might even steer away from the word these days because it seems so decidedly 'unChristian.'
but the Bible talks a lot about meditating, and when it uses the word, it means something totally different from the picture i described above.
yesterday our sermon at church dove into Psalm 1, focusing on meditation. i found that i was convicted on the subject, and i learned a lot about what what the Israelites felt about meditation back in Bible days. so i'd like to share what i learned and my thoughts about it here.

we ALL meditate on something. thinking deeply or focusing on it. think about when you go to sleep at night - what are you mulling over in your mind? is it your job? your kids? your relationship? money? a car? worries? past hurts? these are all things we easily spend time meditating on...
think about when you are driving a car or riding a bike. studies have found, and maybe you've experienced, that you will naturally steer towards wherever your head is turned. that is how meditation is; if you focus your mind's energy on something, that is where you're life's energy will go.
meditating on God and His word is what we are supposed to be doing as Christians. Psalm 1:2 says, "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night." i don't know about you, but when i think of the 'law of the Lord,' or any law for that matter, i don't feel delight of any kid. instead i feel drudgery, or overwhelmed, or like i'd rather think of something else. in Israel, the rabbis in Torah school used to put honey on the scrolls to depict to the children that they were to delight in it! that's a great picture! what do i want to eat right now? maybe a bowl of ice cream... and when i'm hot, a glass of ice cold coke is just about the tastiest thing in the world! do i ever feel like that about God's law or the rest of His word? when i am in the mood for a coke, first i think about how i want it, then i go pour it up and relish the sound of bubbles fizzing in my glass, and as i swallow the tasty sweetness, i focus on the feel in my mouth and throat... that's how i should be when reading God's precious word! it should be delicious to me!
perhaps the most powerful picture of meditating for me was when our pastor talked about its Hebrew meaning in this passage. i have no clue how to spell it, but it sounded like 'ha-GA,' with the emphasis on the second syllable. this word was literally the sound a lion makes when he is tearing into his prey. he is hungry, he is contented, and he is utterly focused on that meat. Isaiah 31:4 describes it like this, "As a lion growls, a great lion over his prey - and though a whole band of shepherds is called together against him, he is not frightened by their shouts or disturbed by their clamor..." the thing that struck me in that verse when i apply it to meditation, is that all fear left that lion when he focused on his prey. when we meditate properly, we are spending time with GOD, the King of the universe!! we have nothing to fear. it doesn't mean nothing bad can happen, it just means that we are already with God - what is there to be afraid of? being with God is the highest advantage you can humanly have! if you are anywhere but with God, you should be afraid!
awesome. the next time i dive into God's word, i will think, 'ha-GA!' no distraction, no fear.
so what are more results of meditating God's way?
it brings true happiness. Psalm 1:1 says, "Blessed is the man..." this is not the 'God just wants me to be happy so i'm going to buy a boat' kind of worldly happiness. instead, it is HEART happiness. happiness isn't the goal; listening to God is the goal. happiness is a byproduct. parents often make decisions for their kids based on the goal of making them happy. but wouldn't you rather your kid be godly? instead of saying the empty words, 'i just want you to be happy,' you should say, 'i just want you to be godly.' how would your decisions or advice change with THAT goal in mind?
we will also flourish, or prosper, as it says at the end of verse 3. this has nothing to do with gaining money or material wealth. it means we live in GOD'S hands, and EVERYTHING in God's hands flourishes! it's a full life. it's a gorgeous life, depending on God's nourishment.
through meditation, we will be stable and will thrive in ANY circumstance. Psalm 1:3 says, "He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither." in the Middle East, where the Israelites lived, the climate is all-out dry. any tree struggles unless it's living right next to flowing water, which sticks around pretty much all year and provides a constant water supply. even when there's no rain and everything else is dying, those trees flourish. here where i live, we have winter. the landscape looks DEAD for half the year. for real dead. all the leaves have fallen off of everything and the ground is frozen - walking outside is like stepping into a freezer. how can anything be alive? but the trees have deep roots. they are fully alive in the winter; they are thriving! have you had troubled times in your life? deep valleys of sadness or heartache? you can still THRIVE in those times, if you are deeply rooted in God. it doesn't mean you'll be jumping up and down with a smile on your face, but it means you will not waver, your spirit will not die.

i hope you were edified by these thoughts on meditation. i was really convicted because recently, i find that i don't really look forward to reading the Bible. i read it at the end of my night when i'm just about to go to sleep - like, it's WAY past my bedtime and i am so sleepy i can barely eke out a chapter.... i am a night person, so reading at night is what i do, but it shouldn't be saved till i can barely keep my eyes open!
so after yesterday, i want it to be my goal to pray before i read, to read like i'm drinking a coke, and to really ha-GA on what i'm reading!!!

no way it just happened

i am blown away when people say 'it just happened!' in a surprised voice after they have sex with someone who isn't their husband or wife.
be real.
it didn't 'just happen'!
there were hundreds of tiny steps YOU AND YOUR PARTNER took before you ended up in bed together. don't act like you were just walking down the street and tripped and fell into bed... with someone else... without your clothes!
let me give you an idea of what all it takes for two unmarried people to end up having sex together. this is not a complete list; there are many more things that can happen subtly between men and women...
if you find yourself thinking, 'hey, that's how i feel when i'm around ______,' when you read some of these, and the person is NOT your spouse, beware!!! if you don't cut the pattern now, you are likely on the path to a physical relationship with that person. (and remember, having sex outside of marriage, even if both of you are single, is wrong!!!)
i'll call the two people Owen and Ella. they work at an office together.

IT STARTS IN THE MIND...

thinking complimentary thoughts about the other:

both are in a group together at lunch, and as they laugh at someone else's joke, they catch each other's eye and Owen thinks, 'i love laughing with her. she's so fun!'

Ella sees Owen pick up a box of papers and thinks, 'wow, he's strong... i sure like his arms...'

suddenly shy:

in the break room, others leave and it's just the 2 of them... their minds race and they try to find something interesting to say to the other!

Ella forgets her keys on the desk and Owen hands them to her... she is struck with shyness and quickly lowers her eyes to the floor as she turns beet red. she thinks, 'why am i nervous??!'

thinking tiny little thoughts specifically about the other person:

one day Ella is getting dressed and assessing her shirt and for a split second, wonders if Owen will like how it looks on her. he's the first/only person that comes to mind.

Owen gets up from his work desk to get a drink of water and trips. his first thought is, 'i hope Ella didn't see that!' she's the first/only person that comes to mind.

thinking about touching:

Ella bumps into another co-worker and Owen sees it. he thinks, 'mm THAT would feel good...'

Ella notices that Owen has a new hair cut and thinks how nice it would be to touch his hair.

AND MOVES TO ACTION...

longer looks:

Ella finds herself mindlessly looking across the room at Owen, to see what he's doing, to see if he happens to be looking in her direction.

Owen sees Ella walk past and almost before he realizes it, he glances quickly down her body.

trying to be attractive; doing things that call attention to your body:

Owen walks into the room and Ella finds herself suddenly 'in need' of fixing her hair.

as they sit in a meeting, Ella suddenly 'needs' to stretch.. in a louder-than-necessary and more-expressive-than-necessary manner.

Owen's drawer gets stuck and he powers it open, flexing whatever muscles he might have in case Ella is looking.

trying to be near:

Owen sees a couple of co-workers standing at Ella's desk and wanders over there to see what's up. (the little imperceptible thought in his head, if he paid attention to it, is that he wants to be near Ella specifically.)

at the annual work picnic, Ella gets her food and scans the tables till she finds Owen, then meanders over to the table and sits on the other end, with a few people between. she thinks, 'somehow it's just more fun to be around him.'

whether they're on a work outing or just in a meeting, they find themselves sitting near each other... and after a few of these times, they make a habit of sitting next to each other, or walking together to and from events.

physical reaction:

Ella brushes past Owen in the doorway, and it sends electricity down BOTH their spines.

'accidental' touch usually leads to intentional touching:

Ella doesn't wait for Owen to get out of the doorway before she steps through, and she brushes against him as she walks... first of all, it causes both of them to fully notice the other's body. second of all, it paves the way for him for further touching. the next time they are about to walk through a doorway, Ella is in front of Owen and he puts his hand on her back to 'guide' her through. (BIG boundary crossed)

more conversation:

on the way to their cars after work, Ella makes a comment about taking her car in to get her brakes fixed, and they end up standing there for the next 10 minutes, having a really enjoyable conversation...

meeting together, alone:

they are assigned to the same group project, and they decide to do part of it together, so they meet at a little cafe, alone, to 'discuss the project.' before they know it, they are talking as good friends and the project is pretty much secondary. they meet again..... soon they feel comfortable when they are really alone with each other - no crowds around...

at this point, all sorts of lines have been crossed, and it's not a far leap into bed together... each person has taken all sorts of tiny steps, many without even thinking about it. these things i listed happen quickly, and if you do not stay aware of it, you may feel like your attraction 'just happened.'

unchecked, tiny steps lead to more thoughts about that person. ultimately this leads to attraction, and to thinking (and doing) things about that person that should be reserved for a spouse.

now you may be thinking that some of the things i mentioned just 'happen TO us,' like we have no control over them. BUT WE DO!!! sure, a thought can come into your head, but YOU HAVE THE POWER AND THE RESPONSIBILITY to THROW IT OUT!!!

"...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

2 Corinthians 10:5b

no matter where you are in the process of 'falling for' someone, you can always get out if it's inappropriate! run away, even if you have to do it physically, for your sake or for theirs! 

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

1 Corinthians 6:18

and if you're single, don't think you're free from committing sexual sins. i'm not saying that two unmarried people are in the exact same boat as married people. there is more leeway with single people, because a lot of the talking and laughing and enjoying each other's presence has to be there if there is going to be a relationship grown. :) but if you don't intend to date someone, don't just flirt around with these things; it's not fair to the other person OR to you. and if you do intend to have a relationship, you still have to be very careful not to cross the line between falling in love with someone and lusting after them. and the only way to have a fulfilling relationship with someone is to SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE.

so what to do? here are some really good guidelines to stay pure, to stay away from a wrong relationship. and if you are a Christian, listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit living in you to guide you in knowing if and when you are crossing the line:

- don't be alone with someone of the opposite sex, if you can possibly help it. this includes cars and closed rooms especially.

- limit touching. be very careful even with hugs; do A-frame hugs. and please, GUYS, don't touch the small of a girl's back when she's walking through a doorway. it is WAY too intimate and really can cause a physical reaction you may not intend to cause! you may think you're being kind, but holding the door open is all the kindness needed!

- if you're single and/or in a dating relationship, think NOW of how far is ok physically. you need to know where your boundaries are BEFORE you get into the situation. it is hard enough to stop yourself when you HAVE boundaries; if you have no boundaries, it will be almost impossible to decide in the moment. (you may think you won't lose your head and good judgment, but believe me, both will vanish surprisingly quickly at the worst moment!!!)

and these are especially for married people, or even those seriously dating:

- STOP assessing if you think other people are attractive or not. the world will tell you it's perfectly fine to look at a woman (or man) and 'appreciate beauty.' that is a LIE. it's not ok. honestly, would you want your spouse to spend time thinking about how fine other guys/girls look?

- STOP the thought about anyone else when it FIRST comes. if you find yourself dwelling on ANY sort of imagining about the other person, you've gone too far. if you think, 'her pants are really tight; i can almost see...' STOP right there and don't think any further. unwanted thoughts can interrupt your mind, and that first moment isn't the sin; it's what you DO with it and if you FURTHER the thought that matters.

- limit ALL touching. there should NOT be long hugs or times when you lean against someone else or hold their hand.

again, this list of precautions is NOT exhaustive. 

it is SO important what you do with your mind and body. you can't take it back. you can't un-sleep with someone. you can't rebuild a broken relationship as quickly as you demolished it. if you choose to cheat on someone, it will take YEARS to repair the damage, barring a miracle. and that's if your spouse or significant other will take you back at all. 

don't listen to the world telling you that sex is not important, that it's just physical... don't believe it when someone says they can just sleep around without getting emotionally involved. humans are WIRED to link our emotions with our bodies. just look around you; anyone who has been cheated on is devastated, whether they thought they would be or not. 

it may seem like i'm just a freak laying down some totally unreasonable boundaries, but i encourage you to think seriously about this stuff. it's important. 

and call it what it is: two people chose to sleep together - it never 'just happens.'